There was a time when I blamed my job, my genes, my family, and the people I was closest with, for anything bad that was happening. Constant anxiety? Well... it runs in the family. Bad relationship with men? Dad's fault, not mine! Lack of interest at work? What I want to do won't pay well. Poor body image? Look inside a magizine, I don't look like that! I was constantly running around trying to control and change everything around me only to find out that it was my internal world that was dictating the outcomes that I was fed-up with receiving. After this realization, things still didn’t change. Why? I was terrified of the level of responsibility that was required to make changes. I was afraid of what I might find deep down inside myself (hello repressed feelings!), and to my surprise, I was scared of what life was going to be like if things started to change. I felt comfortable in my suffering. It was familiar and it was what I was used to. I knew the cycles of dodgy relationships and distractions, I knew how to handle regret better than the unknown. But I kept being presented with a choice. Each time it was asking- evolve or remain. If I chose to remain, I experienced the same storms and situations. Yet if I chose to change, I began to explore what was outside of my comfort zone, and discovered what self-love really is. Making the choice is never easy. It’s a decision that I continue to take step by step, day by day. I am still knee deep in this work, I am still exploring all the different parts of myself and learning to accept and integrate them all. As I continue to discover and grow, I have created something so others can join alongside me. So we can do all of this together. If you want a friend that can shine the light down the path for you as you start your walk into unchartered territory, stay tuned. I have something juicy to share with you all on Monday in my facebook group. If you’re too excited, and can’t wait, use the button below to book a time to chat and we can discuss the journey and how we can continue forward together.
Much love and many thanks, Nikki